Human beings inevitably grapple with the unknown and unchartered territories of life. We want the warm feelings of comfortability, knowledge, acceptance, understanding and appreciation in each facet of our lives. Navigating newness can be an agonizing process and oftentimes makes us question ourselves: our worth, our strength and our capabilities. We have all had and (hate to break it to you) will continue to find ourselves in situations where we are new, and it is fucking terrifying. The unfamiliarity and confusion in conjunction with the fear of judgement and error requires peak levels of vulnerability and bravery.
I have long struggled with being in a state of “newness,” largely due to the daunting feeling of having to be vulnerable again (eye roll) and threaten the safety my comfort zone. We see this in jobs, social groups, moving and advancing to new levels in life. Don’t get me wrong, new is by no means deplorable. In fact, the uncharted territory is what allows us to develop beyond our current status and cultivate meaning. Strength is not developed from remaining in the same place, with the same people, doing the same thing for the entirety of our lives. The risks “newness” poses are prominent, but the reward is far more liberating.
We yearn for our boss to view us as skillful and talented. We desire friendship born on the premise of authenticity and genuine connection. We biologically crave the feeling of being nurtured and welcomed in our environment. Being the intern is hard. Starting a new school is hard. Moving to a new state is hard. But, you know what else is hard? Wondering what in the world is out there, ready to embrace you with open arms and show you how a challenge can evolve into your greatest gift.
My most significant takeaway from the “newness” I have encountered in life is to learn to find comfort internally rather than externally. Obviously, easier said than done, but, when we begin to accept ourselves for our redeeming qualities and true character, we are able to embark on these treacherous battles with far more confidence. When the world around us feels intimidating, we can seek relief in knowing that even if somebody or someplace does not receive you the way you had hoped, that this does not diminish your value or worth. My aim for readers here is to not feel alone in your fear of the unknown; we are all experiencing this daily. There is a rhyme and reason to it all and the right people and places will fuel your soul and heart. It is never too late to step outside of your comfort zone, who knows what is on the other side.